Well time and again people have been passing casual remarks about rape as if it just one of those things that happens and selling it like an experience , which definitely goes to show the prevalent rape culture all across the globe.
This time the foot in the mouth case is of Salman Khan, the ever so popular star of Bollywood who compares his state after a Wrestling bout in the ring to a raped woman!
- Definitely this comment is totally uncalled for and outrageous but the bigger question here is of that typical mindset which simplifies rape as just another act.The rape culture which is so clearly deeply embedded in our society is what needs to be targeted .The casualness of relating to a crime so heinous just because it happens to women more often.The whole culture of victim blaming & shaming and doubting the integrity of a woman every time she raises her voice,to the extent that even our newspapers carry the headlines as so and so “alleged rape”! This is what is shocking and this is what needs to be changed.
- I have been writing time and again about rape and I find my earlier post poignant today when we are once again talking about rape culture and I hope this time not casually ,so I am posting once again those posts for the convenience of the readers.
1. “Maleficient rape culture”
- Its true all men are not rapists but all rapists are men especially in countries like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh.Its also true that when a man decides to rape ,he chooses to rape ,yes its a choice ,nobody forces him nor it is for survival or in self-defense. But when a woman is raped she neither chooses it nor she deserves it .And every time a woman is raped we ask all the wrong questions; what was she wearing , what was she doing at that place,why she was alone, why she was out at night and bang comes the explanations too , she was wearing shorts or short skirt(short skirts and shorts are supposed to be short,aren’t they?), she asked for it, she was drunk, she deserves it. I mean what kind of a country are we , leave alone what kind of people are we ,where is our humanity.Instead of standing in support of the victim we backlash at them and completely forget about the perpetuater.
And how many times this has to be repeated ,rape is not a sexual crime its a gender crime.And it is heinous and hideous . No man and I repeat no man has the right to destroy a woman’s life her self-esteem and self-confidence. Rape is not committed in a moment, when someone rapes, he rapes a woman of her life, dignity and future. And the rape culture in which we live in, not only permits the rapist to escape but also counter argues for them by saying these things like shit happen and boys will be boys.
And rape culture is not a typical third world country problem, because all around the globe women are fighting date rapes and campus rapes. So grave is the impact of this culture that even a Disney movie could not escape from its Maleficent clutches!Its high time we started asking the right questions and instead of blaming women for rape , start teaching men not to rape.Instill in little boys that real men do not rape women.Or very soon the time will come when women will be forced to become vigilantes.
This rape culture is no good ,its taking us back from where we came, back to being animals.Its pure evil !!!
2.”Extinction of Rape”
So first we banned India’s Daughter, then we are still letting Nirbhaya’s rapist and killers live(Death Penalty stayed) and now again the open season for rape .Now its a 70 something Nun who has been subjected to this abject horror.Still people believe that RAPE is a sex crime which is the product of a diseased deranged mind.
There is more to this story, Suzette Jordan who was branded as the park street rape victim was victimized for coming out in the open when she should have just stayed indoors and cursed her life, she had the audacity to first report the crime then fight for justice imagine being a woman she was acting so aggressive and on top of it she had no shame she just revealed her identity . What shame should a woman have, when her undergarments are paraded in the open court as evidence? What shame shall a woman have when her testimony is being challenged by the chief minister of the state which is also a woman? Behaving like this with anyone leave alone a woman is the product of a diseased deranged mind.Instead of shaming the rapists the survivor is being targeted.Amazing stuff!
But the fact of the matter is all these incidents throw up some very important question and until and unless we find answers to them ,we cant stop this Rape epidemic of monstrous proportions. The first would be why do men rape?
Firstly, rape has a history.Like humans discovered fire , the human male discovered that he can rape.This would have happened when man first domesticated animals and started to forcefully impregnate the female cattle . It was then that the human male discovered that his genitalia could serve as a weapon to generate fear.And this deployment of the penis as a weapon was one of the most important discoveries of pre -historic times.
This also answers the historic question of the subjugation of women by men as the female fear of an open season of rape and not a natural inclination towards monogamy, motherhood or love was the single most important key to her historic dependence and domestication by protective mating.Disappointed and disillusioned by the inherent female incapacity to protect she became estranged in a very real sense from the other females- a problem that haunts women organisations even today.
So men rape because they can rape and rape gives them a sense of power even if it is for a small duration. The sex the lust or the frustration is just a cover for the basic human need to have power to have control over the other and that is the reason that even till today in wars rape is used a weapon of mass destruction of the enemy’s morale with the added benefit of procreation of a new race which in turn weakens the ethnic stronghold of the enemy.
So the million dollar question is how do we stop RAPE, we cannot afford to have RAPE coexisting with us . We have to make RAPE extinct.And for that we have to teach men and young boys not to rape, rather than preaching women to not get RAPED!
3. “A License to Rape!!!”
Well well well what should I say, this time they have outdone themselves. How can on the pretext of saving marriages, millions of human life are being put on the line.Is this not the violation of the basic human right of life ,liberty and security?Or just maybe because these lives do not matter much after all they are lives of women and killing women is no big deal in this country ,already we have killed 50 million in just the last decade, Practice makes us perfect!
The men’s right groups say martial rape law will be misused just like the dowry law. Newsflash for all these people ,any law I repeat, any law can be misused and in our so corrupt country it is a cake walk. And speaking of karmic justice when these men get married they want hefty dowries(huge sums of money) because they have an awesome job and when these guys try to leave their wives , they are charged with anti- dowry & cruelty laws.Please note, women are not things that you bring from the market ,play and then throw.Choose a good person to get married to ,do not get married to dowries!
The Indian Law says having sex with a woman without consent is Rape, even sex with wife during separation is Rape by husband so why sex without consent is not Rape. Just because it is the husband and with the marriage license comes the license to Rape a woman. Or that men are entitled to sex and to quench this basic need they have to get married? And women are sex providers who choose by getting married to be raped by one man rather than the whole lot?
So the next time a man rapes a woman he will simply get married to her and will not get prosecuted and then will leave her and rape again and get married again, the same cycle continues, Awesome!
Or maybe I should put it like this come to incredible India- Rape-Marry or Marry -Rape and live happily ever after.
But what about women? They are left with few choices like not getting married at all, just imagine this happening , then what will happen to all the family saving school of thought.Or maybe some women will do this:All this seems man hating but let me remind that all men are not rapists but all rapist are men and rape is not just physical. Every human has the right to live with dignity and no law , no country , no system should be able to rob that from an individual whether man or woman. No woman chooses to be born as a woman , no woman chooses to get raped but a man makes a choice when he rapes , do not be that man , do not make that choice.