The Case of The Wayward Indian Wife!#A Letter To Her
Note:Domestic violence in India is an institutionalised form of violence which has the approval from the society and is inherent in the name of culture especially if it is directed towards woman as it is seen as a tool to control the wayward wife and in some cases the daughter too.
Let me tell you a story.A story of a woman from womb to tomb.In our land ,being a female ,if you have been given the opportunity to take birth than you should know you are lucky and blessed because many of your sisters in arms were not even allowed to take birth ,yes 50 million of them are missing ,so you can say you are in a million.
And if you have been schooled and sent to college and have been given an education ,you should once again feel very lucky and blessed ,as you belong to 64.6% of the 500 million female population of this country which is literate.
And of course ,you have to get married because you cannot remain a burden on your parents and you should be happy that your parents have provided you with a husband and a home, with a promise that only one man would ever touch you , that’s all you have to bear if at all this be the problem.
But you thankless , unreasonable woman , you still complain that your husband demanded pleasure from you. You were asked to cook and clean for him . You were to bear his children. What if sometimes in the rage of anger or the influence of alcohol or influence of some words from his folks he just slapped you . So what even parents slap children at times . What’s the big deal , it was for your good because you were being unreasonable not listening to him. After all he does so much for you . He keeps you, feeds you but you still complain. You are a grown woman one slap or two slaps or kicks and fists are not going to kill you . So don’t create a scene . He is a man and men are entitled to anger and violence . He needs to hit to feel like a man. So please don’t make it a big deal.You are a woman and such feats of anger does not suit you ,so my dear wayward Indian wife , open your eyes and stop complaining after all he is your ” Parameshwar” your God and how can you question or disobey your God . Let him decide what you will eat , what you will wear , when or not will you meet your parents, how much money you would get for running the house or how many male children would you have, Let your God decide and yes you should worship the people who brought this God on earth for you,your in-laws.
Otherwise picture yourself , lying in some hospital with a swollen face and broken ribs!
Meena Kandaswamy’s book “When I Hit You” bit.ly/Meenabk2 is an essential read in today’s time because we still picture the victim of domestic violence as some docile weak woman when even strong independent women are also victims of such violence, a kind of a myth which need to be busted like many myths and stereotypes surrounding women.